Sails and Sailing

Best day EVER!

Well, so it got off to a bit of a rocky start.

This morning T took his sweet time in the bathroom, so I gave him a time out when he was done, then went back to bed.

Meanwhile, my phone kept ringing and ringing. It was Mommy J, but I was exhausted so I ignored it. The thing about Mommy J is that she knows that Daddy B has been out to see all week. And while I saw her on Tuesday, if for some reason I don't answer my phone, that is generally a deviation from normal. Imagine my surprise, then, when Mommy J shows up to my door LOL!

I look at her and I'm like "my bad, I was totally snoozing."

Mommy J replies "I'm sorry, you weren't answering your phone and I know you wanted to go to the Festival of Sail, so I came to get you guys."

Moment of silence.

"Give me 15 minutes" I say, and she goes to park the car.

Ten minutes later, we're in the van driving to pick up the rest of her clan. Mind you, I am still semi-asleep, and I'm still getting the whole driving thing down. But we get there, and in one piece no less.

We drive down to the Festival of Sail. It's late-morning, and there's NO free parking. Does that stop Mommy J from taking us all over God's creation to LOOK for free parking? No it does not stop her. So we drive. And drive. And DRIVE.

Eventually we end up at a meter anyway.

Three hours later, we've visited tons of ships, boats and yes, even a submarine.

Let me tell you about the Russian submarine they have available for people to walk through.

Have you ever had a panic attack? I can officially now say that yes, I have had a panic attack. And yes, unequivocally, I have a phobia of small, poorly-ventilated underwater shafts of metal the girth of a coupe.

When you first walk up to this dock, there is a replica of a hatch from inside the submarine. If you can make your way through the practice hatch (any way you need to; my personal choice was the one foot, sit, straddle, duck, pivot, next foot method) then you are free to go inside the "boat."

What they do NOT test you on is your ability to go through said vessel without throwing yourself against the bulkhead screaming and clawing at anything you think might lead out.

Things were ok for a little bit. My FIRST red flag should have been the narrow, dark ladder leading down into the evil thing. I was behind T and Mommy J's friends were ahead of him, so it was just an easy peasy pace. As we kept walking and walking, it seemed like the stupid thing would never end. I went through my first hatch, and I figured "cool, we're almost done." Three hatches later, I was wondering where the exit was.

Suddenly, about half way through the sub, it dawned on me that it was a five minute crawl in either direction to escape. And I would have to climb over bodies. And there was no emergency exit above me. And I was UNDER WATER, AND MY WASN'T IT GETTING HOT ALL OF A SUDDEN?

In case you are not familiar with the feeling, a panic attack starts in your throat. Well, more precisely, it starts at the bottom of your esophagus near the middle-top of your chest. It's kind of like a burning tightness. It's not nausea, and it's not heart burn. It's not cramping, and it's not choking or gagging.

I like to think I have a pretty good handle on myself. And honestly, it could have been SO much worse. I pictured myself climbing the bulkhead, pounding on the ceiling and screaming at the top of my lungs until hyperventilation and fainting occurred.

Instead I remained calm.

I don't mean to downplay panic attacks, but aside from verbally rushing the people in front of me and almost squashing T at least half a dozen times in my haste to get through hatches, I managed to stay under control until I could see daylight.

More than anything, I think this experience showcases just how fracking PIMP I am. Not only did I, Miss Borderline-Agoraphobic and Claustrophobic, make her way from one end of this submarine to the next, but I actually mentally TALKED MY WAY DOWN from full-on hysteria. Again, it's difficult to explain, but anxiety has a way of snowballing VERY quickly into an uncontrollable million-headed monster with claws and an ugly red butt. With gas.

Truly, I don't know why it worked. I am not sure how my brain shut down the correct sections to calm me down enough to walk the entire length of the submarine without pissing my pants or actually falling unconscious to the hard metal ground. Well, no, I wouldn't have fallen to the ground; it was so small there that I would have just done limp, caught on some protrusion or other.

Right, so after that and a few more ships (I graciously excluded myself from the next submarine) we made our way to ASW where I went sailing for the very first time.

Because of the impact of this trip, I will refrain from going into too much detail. What I WILL say is that we crossed paths with Daddy B's ship, and that was a very special moment for T. He was smiling ear to ear, pumping his fist in excitement. Because he wasn't able to go on the Family Cruise Day on the ship due to an age limit, it was almost like his connection to his dad in a way. He's been on the ship before of course, but he's never seen it in action, crew on the deck doing their jobs. That was very, very cool.

And an amazing end to a busy, rewarding day.