Fail and Pass

So today, for those of you who live in a cave- I mean, who don't know, I took my driving test on Thursday. I passed (yay me!) but it was a little dicey at first.

Let me explain.

I made an appointment about a month and a half ago at the DMV. I scheduled it specifically for when Bob would be off of work for his pre-deployment leave time. But basically, if I failed the test, I would be royally screwed because getting an appointment before he deploys would have been impossible.

We roll up at 15 minutes before my appointment, which was at 9:30am. After some parking confusion, and fretting over the fog, I went into the DMV. Straight to counter 1, I waited in line and eventually was greeted by a jolly man with glasses. I handed him my paperwork, and sent Daddy B to get the registration for the car. Putting my thumb on the scan pad incorrectly multiple times, I eventually confessed I was freaked out of my mind.

"Just don't freak out on the test," the man suggested.

"Yeah, my sister said it would be bad if I threw up on the proctor."

The man chuckled and said "If you throw up on the proctor, I will give you $20."

"Twenty bucks AND a passing score and you've got a deal."

"Yeah, that would totally make my day," he laughed.

I made my way to the car and pulled it into lane two where the rest of the world was also waiting to take their test. I don't know what time the DMV opens, but give me a break, it was only 9:30am! On a THURSDAY!

In front of me are three small cars (a sedan, two coupes and the tiniest station wagon I've ever seen), and behind me are four small cars (I didn't get a good look at them, but the sedan directly behind me was rattling something fierce). Here I am sitting in a minivan. Great.

Right, so blah blah, I am nervous, blah blah, and finally the man comes up to the car. He smiles when I tentatively prod the horn to test it, and watches me test the blinkers. Then we get to the brakes.

We tested. We re-tested. Nope, light was busted.

"Get it fixed and come back at 1pm, after our lunch break" says the proctor.

After trying (in vain) to use "the face" to get out of it, we head to Auto Zone.

Because my husband is mechanically inclined, he changed the lights himself in 10 minutes flat. My role, beside warding off a man asking for bus money (even though he was standing next to his buddy who was smoking a cigarette and also asking for money... right, bus, sure), was to hold the light cover. I am so useful...

We had time to kill, so we went to eat at one of my least favorite places: McDonalds. So of course, who do we run into? T's biological aunt, who proceeds to yell out his name (she's a young adult with the cognitive ability of a 3 year old) and cause a scene.

I decided on the fly that we would ignore her until we ordered and got our food, as her table (with her class mate and their two living assistants) was out of view of the main lobby. The reasoning behind this decision was that we could cut down the number of times we would have to make awkward conversation with her and the others with her. And honestly, the last thing I wanted was to cause a more serious disturbance.

Eventually we got around to her table and had a chat, mostly with her instructor though, because she's not much for conversation, to be frank. We got around to eating, scooted out, and made a call to cancel dinner plans with a friend (I wasn't sure how long the test would take, and the menudo I was planning on preparing was not going to be done by any stretch of the imagination if I had to start it at 2pm or 3pm), then drove the two minutes to the DMV.

It was 12:15pm.

We stalled in the car, chatting and (me) fretting for a while. We made it to 12:40pm before I just couldn't wait any longer. I went inside with my entourage (T and Daddy B) and walked up to the counter.

To my horror, the man (who had originally bribed me to vomit on the proctor) told me I would probably not get a chance to take the test because they were woefully behind.

Now listen. Here's the thing. When I know I'm in trouble and my fate rests in the hands of another person, I turn on the nice. Actually, I turn on the pathetic. I turn apologetic and excessively accommodating. I flash "the face" and furrow the brows almost endlessly.

He suggests I take a seat until the proctors came back from lunch and he would ask.

Would anyone be surprised to know that it wasn't until 1:45pm when the proctors started testing drivers again? The man at the counter talked to one of the proctors.

If you know me, you also know I have an eavesdropping problem. At some point in their conversation, I heard "a good attitude." Then I saw eyes flash over to me. So I REALLY turned on "the face." I mean, I looked like my dog had died and if I didn't get a chance to take my test the world would end and the cure for cancer would never be found. It was DRAMATIC.

"So your tail light was out" the proctor says as he walked up to me.

"Yes, we got it fixed" I responded, nodding vigorously and holding up my paper.

"Ok, let's go." He came around the counter and I went to go get the car. For an extra point on the sympathy scale, I walked happily by the old proctor and smiled at him enthusiastically as I said "I got the light fixed!"

He smiled back and said "good!"

We get the car and bring it back into lane 2. I PRAY I get the first guy again, but instead I get the one who had just cleared me to test again. There must be a reason I wasn't meant to test with the first guy.

After he had me pull out of the parking lot, I don't remember EVERYTHING but I do remember a lot of little things. I slightly rolled my very first stop sign. Damn. I made a left hand turn too wide, ran over the little yellow bumps, and didn't look over my shoulder before entering the intersection. Ugh.

All in all, I didn't go on the freeway and I made four errors. So, I passed! "Just make sure you make complete stops all the time" the proctor said before getting out of the van.

I went inside, and cheerfully put my forms on the counter.

"So, would you like to schedule an appointment now?" says the lady at the computer.

"What?" I ask, suddenly panicked.

"Oh, sorry. Ugh, I hate when he writes there... they're only supposed to write on that line when you fail the test. Sorry about that. Ok you'll get your license in the next few weeks."

:O Ever gone through the nervous-happy-panic-happy spectrum within a minute? It's awesome. Awesome like falling out of a tree into a rosebush.

Right! So YAY! I got my license!