Soldiers and Seals

It's no secret (hasn't been for a long time) that T wants to be in the Army. This morning we had a conversation about how his friend RJ wants to be a Seal.

What's really funny about this is that RJ has the physical prowess of my jar of pens.

Don't get me wrong. The kid is a good kid. He's ...well, he's a parrot. Anything anyone says, he repeats. Of course T is a little copycat, but around me, he tones it down because I do NOT like it AT ALL. There should, however, be some control in RJ's case because he says things I would not want a child to say, especially to adults. It's nothing vulgar or specifically disrespectful. BUT I don't want to have a 6 year old "informing" me of happenings or supposed opinions of his. He is not opining... he is saying what his mother says.

And God forbid anyone ask him anything for which he does not have a pre-approved answer. His mom (one of the circle of three I hang with) ALWAYS answers for him. Whether it's by just straight out saying something, or through RJ in the form of something he heard HER say, it's always her words that I hear.

*****Tangent: To clarify the circle of three... there's me (Mommy C) with Daddy B, Mommy A with Daddy R (sons RJ and Ma), and Mommy J with Daddy G (daughters E and Mn). Mommy A is a dance teacher, and Daddy R is special ops in the Navy. Mommy J is a SAHM like me, and Daddy G just finished his Masters for chaplaincy and is waiting for some training and a commission.

The reason I have to use code letters is because not only are Daddy B and I foster parents (thus making the happenings of any children placed with us confidential), but Mommy J and Daddy G are also foster parents, with E being a foster-to-adopt placement. *****

***Sub-Tangent: I am thankful every day for T. Aside from the random regressions and emotional volatility, T is actually a very cool, very compassionate child. This morning he said to me, out of nowhere, "Mom, I was waiting for new parents and you finally came, because I wanted a new mom and dad. And now I want to stay with you forever." He's not in any outlandish therapies every day or behavior coaches or anything like that. Every time I see E, she reminds me how good I have it. ***

Right, so RJ is a little Mommy A robot.

Case in point. Mommy J and Daddy G decided to have a party for Mn. Now I don't know the specifics, but Mn supposedly said she wanted to have a girls only party, and by extension have it be a slumber party.

*****Tangent: Here's the thing. Mn recently turned 8 years old. Her family is Mormon, and when she turned 8 she became baptized in their church. Now I don't know MUCH about the little details of the church. I do know a LOT about it simply because I love researching things, and of course when I became friends with a Mormon, I wanted to know which subject or actions were inexcusably unacceptable. Mommy A and I are coffee addicts. Obviously Mommy J is not, and while Mommy A and I email each other Starbucks offers, we would not send those emails to Mommy J. Things like that. What I don't know is if once Mn turned 8 years old, she was encouraged to begin removing herself from non-church members. Or if birthday celebrations are now going to be more faith-centric from now on. I have NO idea.*****

Ok so girls only party. Mommy A was SUPER put off by this. SUPER put off.

Mommy A said that RJ told her she wanted a boys only party after that. Listen, I don't think RJ said that. Honestly, I think Mommy A said it, RJ repeated it and absorbed it, and then Mommy A convinced herself that it was all RJ's idea.

Getting to the point: On Tuesday we ate at USO. While we were there, RJ started up with his new favorite conversation topic of the Boys Only Club. And Ma and T follow along, and I haven't said ANYTHING about it. I just let them chitter on. So we're eating, and T leans over toward me and asks "Mom, why does RJ not want girls in his club?"

I looked at my beautiful little boy, the one who listens when I tell him that everyone's different but we're all people, the one who pets babies on the head because he thinks they are cute, the one who walks by people in wheelchairs or with crutches or with deformities without a second thought, the one who tries to give everyone he meets a hug. I looked at him and said "T, there's no good reason at all for why RJ doesn't want girls in his club. I think you know it's pretty disrespectful to exclude anyone from anything. It's pretty dumb to want to keep girls out of a club, isn't it?"

T looked up at me and nodded, a look of superiority on his face. "Yes Mom, that is pretty silly. I do not know why he would want to do that."